Character Interview With Grimesbledung Sixto from Tales From a Second Hand Wand Shoppe by Robert P. Wills

We are speaking today with Grimesbledung Sixto. He is the co-owner of a pretty successful used wand shop. Thanks for coming down to speak with us, Mister Sixtoes.

Am I under arrest?

No.

Oh, okay. Call me Grimbledung, then.

Fine, then Grimbledung. As I said, you are the co-owner of a used wand shop. That is kind of an unusual line of work. How long have you been selling used wands?

About ninety years I would say. It was a little after the Great Pixie Uprising.

I see. So how did you get into that line of work?

Well, times were tough after the Pixies were defeated. There were a lot of people out of work and as my Pappy told me- ‘always try to have a job that can always make money with’.

Isn’t that any job?

He meant things like blacksmith and baker because people always need something repaired or some bread to go with cheese. But those seemed like a lot of work, so I started buying wands from folks that needed a quick coin, and then reselling them to other folks that needed a quick wand.

And that’s when you got the shop you currently have?

No, no. I worked out of a wagon for quite a while. Me and Rat.

A rat?

I enchanted a regular grey rat as a companion about a hundred years ago. I’ve had him ever since. Now that he’s learned to talk, he’s really helpful in selling wands when I’m busy doing something else, or I need an errand run. Why I remember this one time we were trying to sneak through the Trollish Highlands…

You were going to tell me how you came to work out of the shop.

Oh, right! Well, a little bit ago -about a year I’d say, I was out looking for wands after a big battle. You know, that’s the best place to look for wands because the folks that owned them aren’t alive anymore so you don’t have to pay them, and they don’t argue when you just take them when their eyes are pointing a different direction, even if you have to turn their eyes yourself. So anyway, I was searching for wands, minding my own business when I happened across another Gnome.

Drimblerod.

Right; Drimblerod Axebreath. He suggested we combine our inventories and sell from under one roof….

But yours was a wagon with no roof.

… so we combined our inventories and sold under one roof, which has really worked out well, I must say. Not only do I get to sleep indoors now, it really has increased profits because having an actual building lets you charge more for wands because people expect to pay more at a regular shop as opposed to a wagon parked in a dark alley.

Well, I can see how that would definitely make for better business. So you’re settled in the shop? That’s where you’re going to stay then?

Well, that particular shop isn’t around anymore due to a minor fire that broke out.

Minor fire? So your shop burned down?

Not at first. The fire started in the center of town and spread out in all directions. It took it about thirty minutes to make it to our shop. So while it was burning down the entire town so we had to make a run for it and ended up going up the road to the school of magic. That’s where we’ve set up our current shop.

So you’re settled there then?

Well, as long as no more fires break out, I suppose so.

So what caused this fire that burned the town to the ground?

You sure you’re not the law?

I’m sure.

Well, I may have had a very minor and indirect, and I should point out, totally incidental part in the actions that resulted in a fire starting that then spread to the rest of town. On accident. All I was trying to do was have a nice big fire at the jamboree so that everyone could roast their Marsh Mallows and Marsh Pixies all at once. So I may have had a four story pile of wood set up that probably caught fire when I hit it with a lava spell that then caused it to topple into the guild’s building, which then spread throughout the town. Maybe.

So besides selling used wands, what other interests do you have?

Interests?

What else do you spend your time doing?

We had the Army of the Great Halfling Empire try to invade. That was kind of a busy time. Firstly I helped try and fend them off when they massed at the Anti-Ogre Wall. That was going pretty well until I fell off the wall and was captured by them.

Oh dear.

Right? Luckily a bunch of them broke my fall. Then, I managed to escape into the Foreboding Forest with the help of some Elves who lived there in the trees. After I escaped from them for trying to cook me, I made it back in time for the end of the invasion. We won, by the way.

Well, that’s good news. We’d hate to be overrun by Halflings. So it all worked out in the end?

Mostly, yes. One of the Halflings even stayed behind in town and became the deputy since his female was also in town. She’s a Gnome assassin.

She just kills Gnomes?

Leave the jokes to the professionals! She’s a Gnome who is also a master assassin. She was hired by the Halflings to kill me and Drimblerod but that didn’t go as planned and now we’ve worked out our differences and get along. Akita was happy to hire the old soldier since there’s still bands of Halflings running around the countryside causing trouble. Having a Halfling on the payroll is a good way to counter that.

They sound pretty ruthless, these Halflings.

Absolutely. They aren’t even fazed by our town constable, Akita Finnish. And he’s a Werewolf! You’d figure he’s good at giving people the creeping willies, so run of the mill fazing should be a piece of cake. The Halflings don’t seem to give him a second look. Unless he has their head in his mouth, I suppose.

Well, I’m glad that things have settled down in your part of the world and you’ve got a successful business to keep you busy now that the Halflings are under control.

Not as glad as I am! All that adventure made it hard to just sell some wands and sample some ale. If you’re ever in my neck of the woods, stop by and I’ll give you a tour of the shop.

That sounds very nice, Grimbledung. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to come down for the interview.

Wait? This wasn’t mandatory? Just wait until I get my hands on Drimblerod!

======================================================
This site contains Third Party Advertising, using online behavioral tracking technology. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we believe will add value to our readers.
======================================================