by James Collins
“Who among you will give ear to this? who will hearken and hear for the time to come?” Isaiah 42:23
I have been trying to learn to use my cell phone.
However, there are many buttons and apps – I have no idea what most of them do.
The other day, I saw my friend, Ida Ford, talking into her cell phone. But she wasn’t on a call. “What are you doing?” I asked. She said, “I’m using the voice command app. I talk, and the voice command types my text message.”
Ida showed me how the app worked and for the past few days, I have tried to use it. Yet, it doesn’t work right. It doesn’t understand my country, redneck accent.
Someone texted me and told me about a lady from church who was in the hospital. I replied with my voice command, “I hope she gets better. I pray she does.” Only it said, “I pray she dies.” That was not good…
Once I got the voice command activated, I couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. I got frustrated and said, “Baloney!” When I said, “Baloney,” the phone said, “Bologna is a city in Italy. It is also a cooked, smoked sausage.” I screamed, “I didn’t say Bologna. I said, Baloney!”
Later that day, I was at the dentist office with the phone in my pocket. As I was sitting in the waiting room, a voice said, “Say a command.” The lady at the reception desk looked up at me. I heard the voice again, “Say a command.” I realized the voice was coming out of my britches.
“Say a command.”
I took the phone out of my pocket, tried to turn it off, but it kept saying, “Say a command.”
“Say a command.”
“I command you to shut up!” I exclaimed.
I was called back to the exam room. I was sitting in the dental chair while the hygienist was cleaning my teeth. I couldn’t say anything because there was a suction hose, tooth scraper, polisher, waterpik, and seven or eight other dental tools hanging out of my mouth. I couldn’t have said anything if I tried.
Suddenly, I heard a voice say, “Did you say call Brian Poodle?” It said it again. “Did you say call Brian Poodle?”
I know Brian Williams, Brian Foster, and Brian Lane. However, I don’t know Brian Poodle. I know some wiener dogs, and a schnauzer, but I don’t know a poodle.
Frustrated, I finally reached in my pocket and turned off that stinking thing. I was tired of hearing the voice. So, I turned it off.
Often, we do the same thing.
Young people get tired of listening to their parents. So, they turn them off.
In church, people get tired of listening to the preacher. So, they turn him off.
You get tired of listening to the Word of God. So, you turn it off.
James Collins is a pastor, writer, and columnist. Find out more about his ministry at www.thepointis.net.