by Jim Hughes
In order to keep a fire going, you have to keep feeding it. In order to keep an argument going, you have to keep feeding it. Quarrels are unavoidable. We have different opinions on a lot of things. We want our opinions to be heard and understood. We want to convince others that we are right and they are wrong. We dig in our heels and refuse to back down. When no one gives ground, quarrels break down relationships. We allow our disagreements to keep us from getting along with others. We find ways to justify our position the longer the quarrel goes. We develop “reasons” why we are right and others are wrong. We refuse to budge because we let it become an image issue. Whether we are right or wrong doesn’t matter. Pride makes us right in our own eyes.
The only way we can keep from allowing relationships from being broken is to see the bigger picture. When we are at odds with each other, we cannot be right with God. When we let quarrels keep us from acting in a loving way towards another, we are stopping the flow of God’s love through us to another. We are keeping the good that could happen between us and others from happening. It is going against God’s will for us and it is sin.
When we find ourselves arguing with others, we need to humble ourselves and back off. We need to understand that severed relationships are never good. We need to stop the arguing and strive to live peacefully with others. We need to apologize where it is needed and move on. You may never agree with the other person on their stand, but that is not the issue. You can agree to disagree agreeably. You can set aside your differences and let the Lord help you to love each other.
If you are at odds with someone and it has broken your fellowship, don’t let your pride stand in the way of your reaching out and seeking reconciliation. Extend the hand of loving fellowship. Do the right thing before God and he will give you peace. Don’t add fuel to the fire, let it die out. You will be glad you did.
About the Author:
Spending his formative years in Ft. Wayne, IN, Jim followed the love of his life to southeast Iowa where they married and have spent the majority of their lives. Jim has pastored several churches throughout his life and has worked many years in local factories to help support his family. The father of two married adult children and one son still at home, Jim is a first-time author.
C Through Marriage came into being through many years of pastoral and life experiences. The book first took on a life of its own over 20 years ago when I sought to address the much publicized moral failures of prominent leaders in the church. In the chapter on Chasity, I include the guideliness that I developed then to protect one’s self from such failures.
I am a firm believer in order to make sense out of life you have to use much common sense. We need to get back to the basics of what has worked for many, many generations. If is isn’t broke, why try to fix it? I strive to return to the basics of what really works in all my writings.
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